Squooshed!

If that is not a word, I just made it one.

Anyway...I discovered today: whether a Mammogram hurts or not is largely dependent on the technician.
For the past six years I have gotten the procedure done every other year. Until this time it was always Alma (a lovely mother of 6 in her 50's from Mexico). She was always friendly, asked if you were doing alright, if she could move the "item" to be scanned a little more over here.
Alma doesn't work there anymore.

Today it was a young lady who's name I don't remember. She was clearly on auto pilot. You could tell by the way she was emotionlessly rattling the same sentences off to you that she has rattled off to ladies all day long..
"Relax those shoulders, hun..okay...take a deep breath...relax the shoulder, hun...."

Well, lady if you wouldn't toss them around like a dead fish, I might relax!! They are attached to me, you know?
If I could detach them, I would have just mailed them in!
Sheesh!

Everything seems okay, but if the Radiologist needs more images...blah, blah, blah.
On your way out drop the dirty gown....What do you mean "DIRTY"??? Lady, I took a shower and shaved my underarms before I came in here..alright?
Could you just say "used"?
So it was not as much fun this time. Good bye Alma...wherever you are. My coconuts and I miss you....sorely!