The following conversation happened in my head about 15 short minutes ago. The participants are myself and a lovely sweater pattern called Fiori Pullover ( http://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/fiori-pullover ). M stands for me and F for the pattern.
M: Alright. Piece measures 5.25 inches from the top of the bust band. Next bodice and sleeves.
F: Knit to 23 st before side marker. Place new marker. Knit 15 then put 8 st before side marker on hold, remove marker, place 7 st on hold. Place 76 right sleeve st from hold onto left needle.
M: Okay...works to 7 st. Placing 76 on hold....but now I don't have enough for the back. Wait.. reads over instructions again.
F: Yes...you read that right. place 76 sleeve st on left needle.
M: Where do those stitches on hold come from? I;m knitting in the round, right?
F: Yep! Cast on..join, don't twist.
M: reads over bodice part again..and again...Did I miss separating somewhere? Aww, maaan..that would suck! I'd have to start over! I need a drink...
F: humming softly ....
M: Alright. Glass of Merlot. Reading it again. From the start.
F: Yep...still nothing has magically changed. Knit in round. Certain length. Place stitches....
M: Shut up!! Where do those 76 stitches come from?? I have only 238! Wait..there is a second set of 76 to be added? 390 total?? WTF?
F: No need to be rude...I'm just stating what you need to do if you want a pretty garment. I think it's quite clear...
M: Now you're being sarcastic. Let's go over this AGAIN:...move 76 from holder to left...WHAT 76 STITCHES!?!?!
F: humming "I can see clearly now, the wine has worked...M: Okay. One more glass...right. From the start. Pattern notes...gauge, who needs that..needle size...
F: Getting warmer....
M: Hush. Begin: Cast on 86 st for right sleeve...turns page with incredulous look..Sleeve? What sleeve?
F: Getting REALLY warm now...
M: Hmm..right sleeve, put on hold...left sleeve, put on hold...wait....cast on body...
F: Uh huh. You were saying...?
M: Oh for fucks sake...who in their right mind starts a pattern with the sleeves? So now I have to make the sleeves before I can go on. Got it. Why didn't they say that from the start?
F: Well...I kinda DID say that...
M: Oh shut up, smart ass. Phew..I thought I'd have to start over..hahahaha...Now where are those 3.75 mm needles...
F: Ding ding ding!! We have a winner...
